i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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