I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
