A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
