i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
