i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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