who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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