it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
