My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
