i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
