So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
