I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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