Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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