Umm I'm too high to move.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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