my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
3 2 1 whiskey
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
