His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
