Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
