Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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