you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
