Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
