I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
