For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
