there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
