Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
