remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
