You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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