One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
