I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
