Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is classic penis vs brain.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
