I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
