Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
