So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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