i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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