I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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