I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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