Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
