So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
