with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That accounts for only three of the penises
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Terrible idea I love it
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
