Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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