If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
