Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize