your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
