You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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