Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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