my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
