I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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