My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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