Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize