She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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