she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
