I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
