There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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