Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
